Flump has been invited to a school disco at the local boys’ school. Yes, that’s right, a disco WITH BOYS (insert screaming face emoji). I’m still trying to digest this disturbing turn of events and can honestly say I am mortified. She has just turned nine, attends a single sex school and most of her parties involve arts and crafts (knitting, pottery and the like), eating pizza or going to the cinema. Long may that continue, I say, as none of us in this household are ready for the school disco phase of life. I didn’t anticipate it starting until later on, at least not until senior school, but it seems I am out of date. Discos are all rage. Apparently.
The controversial disco in question is for children aged between 8 -13. Apart from the fact that there will be teenage boys there (shudder), the event is being held in the evening, making it feel even more like a proper disco. At least if it was a “daytimer” I could pretend to myself that it was just like any other party, but the “disco” label is causing me anxiety.
I’m not sure I want to introduce this social ritual and all its complexities to my daughter so early on in life. I have no doubt that it will be perfectly innocent, with most boys skidding across the room and doing arm farts on one side of the hall, whilst the girls bust some moves excitedly amongst themselves on the other side. I’m sure it will be fun, but the thought of my daughter being in a scenario which is typically meant for teenagers, awkwardly navigating the social dynamics between the sexes, is making me tense.
I remember going to my one and only school disco at the age of 11. I’m not quite sure how my overprotective, traditional Asian parents allowed me to go, but what I do recall is wearing my very best black and white tutu dress, having a Tina Turner hairstyle and awkwardly dancing with a boy called Richard Atwood. It was embarrassing and my first ever “slow dance” (not really as we stood about a metre apart, but we thought it was at the time). I remember feeling very conscious of how I looked and danced. I felt very grown up.
And I think that’s my issue. I don’t want my daughter, at the tender age of 9, to feel that she needs to imitate adult behaviour. Nor do I want her to be overly self-conscious about the way that she looks, or have a mindset based on appealing to the opposite sex. We already live in an over sexualised culture, where children are exposed to images and ideas that place great pressure on them to conform. I know the time will come when my daughter will inevitably be interested in boys and attending discos, but for now, I’d rather preserve her childhood and let her enjoy the freedom of not giving a damn. So it’s a NO from me. The princess shall not be going to the ball or school disco……..yet.
We said no to our two last year. After a bit of feeling sad they got over it. But funny thing is, the teachers told me they did not let their kids go either!! So that made me feel Much better 🙂
I haven’t even told Flump she has been invited! It’s at another school so it’s not being talked about much at her school. Glad i’m not the only one saying NO!
It’s a No from this mummy too. There will be many opportunities in future.
P. S. Arm farts – hilarious
Exactly! We know it’s coming..so why preempt the matter? 🙂
Totally agree with you Shazia. Great observations and stance. Too much pressure in society these days for children to imitate behaviour beyond their tender years. That’s what I love about Dubai. On many fronts, children are allowed to remain innocent and enjoy their childhood for longer. It’s not all positive here either. My issue is the academics and competitive sport. There is so much pressure on kids to be at the top of their game and unfortunately I feel the school place is much about about politics as is the house of commons.
Do you think it’s specific to our generation? I don’t recall such pressure to compete when I was growing up.. Too much helicopter parenting or tiger parenting nowadays perhaps? X
I can understand your concern.. hope the girls are safe in this big bad modern world.
They have so much to contend with in this modern age of multi media.. If I can shield her from the pressures that lie ahead for a little bit longer, then I will. Thanks for stopping by:)
I was a teenage boy once. I think the boys are more scared of the girls than the other way round, it’s mainly just bravado.
Having said that, perhaps that was just me. I’m 46 now and still scared of girls.
I need a cup of tea…
Lol! Thank you Phil for adding some much needed male perspective. Made me chuckle!
A school disco is a right of passage these days! They love it!!!!
I am not sure how I would have dealt with this as I can be a bit over protective of my nieces who I am very close too. I don’t want to treat them differently from my sons but can’t help it. I did ask their parents how they would have dealt with such an invitation and both sets of parents said that they would not have allowed their daughters at the age of nine if some of the boys invited were older. May be we are old fashioned?