There are broadly two types of people in this world; those that think there is nothing more satisfying than watching TV in bed, and those that vociferously object to it as the ultimate passion and sleep killer. Telly conflict between couples is extremely common. Forget Brexit, austerity and NHS shortages, the debate over whether to have a television in the bedroom is one of the most controversial and prevalent issues of our time. It’s very difficult to resolve, and one party will always end up feeling hacked off. So which camp do you fall into?
Personally I LOVE watching TV from the comfort of my bed. It’s snug and warm and I can’t think of anything dreamier. It’s like being wrapped up in a giant marshmallow; everything is soft and cosy. It’s pure self-indulgence and the ultimate way to relax. I remember when I first had baby Flump, I was so shattered by the end of each day that I just wanted to lie in bed and watch mindless telly for a while before tending to the next feed. It was a way for me to be entertained and exhausted simultaneously. I loved it. At that point the Old Git had no choice but to tolerate it as he didn’t want to trigger any new-mum hysteria. These days, however, he’s not so compliant.
The Old Git thinks having a TV in the bedroom is a cardinal sin . He hates it. Fortunately for him, when we moved house, the bedroom telly got the chop and has never been replaced, much to my dismay. He has a completely different vision of bedtime to me (yes, even after 12 years of marriage). He envisages a blacked out, silent room with no wind down period before bed. He just hops right in and goes to sleep. Whereas I like to have a ritual, a bit of reading, pillow talk or TV. I’ve read all of the research about screen time being bad for you before bed and keeping you alert (truth be told, I’d never let my kids have a TV in their rooms for that reason) but I’m a fully grown woman and can do what I please! Except that I can’t. Because of a certain Old Git.
There’s no end resolution in sight (headphones and eye masks have gone down like a lead balloon with the Old Git). I’ve just had to suck it up for the last few years and resort to watching the TV downstairs (how uncivilised). But I think the Old Git’s good fortune is about to change. I’ve been eyeing up a TV screen and know exactly where I’ll put it. It’s his turn to suck it up. That’s how marriage works after all. You just take it in turns to be ticked off. It’s the fairest way.